----<@My So-Called-LiFe@>----


It've been nearly 2 1/2 months.
All I do is work and work and work.
I don't feel like stopping.
Sometimes it's very tiring. But I don't
care. I want to get tired.
I know that something has gone wrong somewhere.
Maybe she's dating him right now.
The story I wrote. It's becoming reality.
That's why I need something to distract me.
I need to take my mind off this thing.
I need to be somewhere. I need to be numb
just so that I don't feel the pain.
And tomorrow is Sunday.
That mean I've nothing to do. And I'll start
thinking. I just don't want to...........

----<@My So-Called-LiFe@>----

Hmmm........
I'm glad that I'm working. And I love my
students.
They help me take my mind of the things
I don't wanna think of. Yes I want to be busy.
I wanna work and work and work.
I don't care if I get sick or whatever.
I just don't wanna think about it.
Well maybe I'm afraid to find out the truth.
Maybe I'm not ready to know the answer yet.

She told me something yesterday. Well she
thought that there's something going on there.
But I know there's nothing. My instinct is always
right. She told me herself.
I don't wanna hope 'cause I know that if I do,
I'll keep on thinking about it.
And I don't want to.
There're so much going on with my life now.
I just don't want them to stop. I can't face it again.
Tomorrow.. Back to work...
Eventhough I used to think of quitting this job..
I'll not... Guess I stay for a while. To sort out my thoughts.
To sort out my life. Until I'm sure of everything.
And I can't bear to leave the children right now.
The look so innocent...
So fragile...
Like my heart..