3:21 pm
Saturday, September 29, 2007
----<@My So-Called-LiFe@>----
He makes me take a ride on a roller coaster.
Sometimes he makes me so happy that I can't feel
the ground beneath me feet.
Another time he will make me so sad that I
can feel my wold is caving in.
One day I'll be missing him like crazy...
The next day I wish that I've never met him..
At a point of time I'm so glad to see him..
The other time I just wanna close my eyes..
I should've run away..
I should've stay away..
But he's always there..
When will all of this thing stop..
I can't stand this anymore..
I couldn't focus...
I'm losing my was..
11:33 pm
Monday, September 17, 2007
----<@My So-Called-LiFe@>----
I die a little death everytime I see youMy heart beats so hardI can hear the rythmI feel so insecureI'm trying to avoid youBut everytime I do I will miss youThere you are right in front of meI just turn hot and coldI sat there frozeUnable to do anythingI wanted to called out to youBut I stopped myselfI can't control myself anymoreWhat is this sin?Why is it so hard?The hurtful part is thatYou ignore me
10:45 pm
Thursday, September 13, 2007
----<@My So-Called-LiFe@>----
I've eaten lots of chocolate. Partly because I'm really stress up.And partly because my mum cooked "Mee Siam"Which I don't eat. I just can't eat it coz after eating itI'll throw up.So tomorrow night I'll be going to KL to visit my sickeningsister. I don't why she've become this dimwit and let peoplewalk all over her..Maybe I should really smacked her head.. maybe that will set all the screw write again...
11:40 pm
Sunday, September 09, 2007
----<@My So-Called-LiFe@>----
Talking to him now is not easy.. Everytime I did...My heart will beat so damn fast..Sometimes I'm scared of saying the wrong thing.Scared of making him annoyed.....And sometimes when I really don't know what to say..I'll just lay back and turn silent...My heart is beating so hard right now...Someone help me...
8:33 pm
Saturday, September 08, 2007
----<@My So-Called-LiFe@>----
I couldn't deny it.... Eventhough I've tried so hard toprevent myself... Months of fighthing with my heart.. But in the end.....Yes in the end.... I've fallen in love with him. So deeply.I couldn't wake up. It's just too deep. I'm starting to see his face ineveryone else faces. He is everywhere... anywhere.. In my dreams..In my mind... in my heart....I can't help the way I feel....I couldn't control my heart anymore....But I couldn't tell him... I won't and I will never.... It's just sooo wrong.All I need to do now is to busy myself with all the school's work.I don't care if I'm gonna be sick....'Cause that will put my mind somewhere else......
3:12 pm
----<@My So-Called-LiFe@>----
I'm feeling very down right. I can't even smile...And now I need to go to my aunt's house, whichI don't feel like going at all...I've lots of hmwork to be done and I haven'teven start one yet. Plus me with my emotionalthing.....I don't know what to do anymore...I really need to get back on track and focus.I can't let this thing happen to me.It's just a distraction and I need to get rid of itas soon as possible...
11:10 am
----<@My So-Called-LiFe@>----
I was having a sleepless night again after I'd thedream bout him again. I was reading the msg inmy phone. It was from him and he was talkingabout his girlfriend......I couldn't let this keep going on....I need to do something. But I don't know what..
9:41 am
Friday, September 07, 2007
----<@My So-Called-LiFe@>----
I dreamt 'bout him last night. I was trying so hard toavoid him. But he keept coming closer to me.Even in my dream I can still feel the pain in my heart.I woke up at 3am with tears streaming down my face.After that I couldn't sleep at all.I keep on drawing and drawing...Until my hand barely move...I feel so tired but I still need to go to the school today.I've never become this crazy before..I don't even know myself anymore.
8:58 pm
Thursday, September 06, 2007
----<@My So-Called-LiFe@>----
I walked home very slowly. My heart feels so cold and hard.It was a tiring day for me because I finished up 3 hours by drawingthe building including all the reflections. But I was still happy by then.I'm happy to draw whatever that I'm ask to.But then it happen again.I feel so damn sad and frustated. I turned up the volume of the musicso loud. I know that the woman who was sitting besides me in the bus really annoyed.Well I don't give a damn. She can always moved to other seats that was available.I really don't care 'bout other things.I wanted to cry. That was why I turned up the volume so loud.It was to drowned out all the other sounds before I get tears in my eyes.Then when I got home.. my mom was quarelling with my sickening sister.I was so damn tired and frustated and plus their stupid fight...I just slamed my bedroom door sooo hard.Just then this stupid crazy neighbour of mine started to screamand shout eventhough there was no one outside her house(she did that likeeveryday).This time my blood really boiled up.I went to her house and at shouted at her."Hey sickening crazy bitch! Can u shut the fuck up?! There's no onedisturbing you and yet u scream like hell! Go to the hospital and checkout ur damage brain!"Then my mother came out and said,"what's wrong with you today."I didn't answer her. I just locked myself in my room.Frustation + sadness + madness = me that can do thing that I neverever did in my whole life.So that's what become of me when all the things combined together.I really exploded.........
6:12 am
----<@My So-Called-LiFe@>----
It is morning.And I am wide awake.I thought I have forgotten about you over night.But you are the first person that comes to my mind.I am always close to tears.Whenerver I think about you.My mind is telling me to stop this crap.But my heart has it's own mind.I'm so helpless..........Drifting away..........
10:33 pm
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
----<@My So-Called-LiFe@>----
I couldn't sleep.I couldn't close my eyes.It's you who stuck here in my mind.I can't go on like this....This is just too much....Just give me something to get rid of him.
10:07 pm
----<@My So-Called-LiFe@>----
I miss talking to you.I miss your voice.I can no longer talk to you.I can't tell you all the things I wanted too.Because if I start to talk to you.The truth will come out.So I'm wearing this disguise.Trying to act like I don't care.But deep down inside.I am shattering.Bit...By...Bit...
9:59 pm
----<@My So-Called-LiFe@>----
Will you be there?Will I see you there?But what am I to when I see you?My heart will only race for you.Speechless...To see you.But to not talk to you.Stranger you have become.
9:43 pm
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
----<@My So-Called-LiFe@>----
I don't know how..I don't know why..I don't know how it happened..But it did.Falling for you it's like a sin to me.But I did.I fall down so hard.So hard that I can't wake up no more.You are not there to catch me.Because you will never know.You are so busy with your own life.So am I.Eventhough I tried so hard not think of you.But I still do.It's just so hard knowing that you are there.But I can never reach out for you.I can't stop my heart from beating so hard whenever I see you.Your name..Your face..I can't erase it from my mind..From my heart... My heart is playing this cruel game with me.Each night is a sleepless night.Because everytime I close my eyes I will see you.What am I to do???What do I 've to do to erase you from my heart??
2:20 pm
Saturday, September 01, 2007
----<@My So-Called-LiFe@>----
I was sooo happy on Thursday coz we don'treally have that much homework to complete.But then... something happened and my mood just wentdown the hole....It really sucks..Because I'm not suppose to feel that way.I'm not suppose to care.. or to feel sad.. or...I don't know what's happening to me.... And I don't wantit to happen to me.It's really a distraction......I need to focus right now. I can't afford to loose focus.Hopefully I can pull it through next week.
